Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize