Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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