there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
