I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize