Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
only you would photoshop your dick
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
there is puke in my bra ... again
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