omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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