gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
