Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
