is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
