it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You did what with his pubic hair?
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