Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
