I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
