I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Someone signed my nipple.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
