so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
