Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
