as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
