its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
