Please, let me fuck your mom
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
