I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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