Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I have aggressive nipples.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
