Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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