I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
