Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
