I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
