it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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