I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
