Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize