well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
