I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
