I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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