JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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