She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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