I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
