I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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