Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
