so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
