but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize