OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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