Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You can't just leave with hair like that
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize