He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
