Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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