SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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