The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
