Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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