well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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