its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
