i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
