either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
