He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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