Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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