Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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