Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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