Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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