I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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