Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
