Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
