You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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