OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
