what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
