fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize