I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
