dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
