Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
